Liberation

wow i havent seriously blogged in so long, ive forgotten how it feels. its kind of... liberating to just get everything off of your chest.

anywho...

today was ok. missing my dearest still, but thats just something i have to deal with until the time is right i guess. im trying to make the opportunity present itself, but it seems like everytime i do, something comes up. i just had to pay money for this dental surgery... apps to schools in N.O.... bills, etc. its never ending.

i applied to Ruby Tuesdays the other day and i've been calling them non-stop to find out if they have made their decision yet. i refuse the old notion of "dont call us, we'll call you." im tired of placing my destiny in other peoples hands, i'mma get mine! I'm Gettin Mine!! (shout out to chris rock!) but seriously... ive been on this dangerous path recently in which ive just been lethargic and unmotivated to even wake up in enough time to take a shower before class... gross i know. I dont know what it is lately though, i feel my old swag coming back. over the past couple of weeks ive even stopped dressing fresh.

*GASP!!*

i know right? its craziness.

I spoke to my dad today. well... semi-spoke. i think its kind of sad that our communication has dwindled to nothin but a few text messages a month. so impersonal, especially to the man that fathered me, but im done chasing a relationship with a person that obviously doesnt want it anymore. makes me question if he ever wanted it, i mean he did run... and ive been chasing this man to be a father for almost 23 years (birthday coming up May 5th!!) honestly, im exhausted. so from this point, (well since this summer really, this is just my first time blogging about it) im finished, finito.

but i will still dig in them pockets though, lol :-)

Ay Dios Mios... this semester has been so crazy. im supposed to be doing a lit review right now, but as you see... i'm not.

anywho, till next time... PEACE!

Libertad